Do Teens Adjust Better to Divorce Than Younger Children? | IL

 Posted on August 28,2024 in Child Custody

You cannot expect a specific reaction from a child when his or her parents are going through a divorce and child custody is being determined. Every child is unique, and the family dynamics of every divorce are just as unique. The prevailing belief is that school-age to pre-teen children may need the greatest amount of support during a divorce. While this may be true, teens often receive the short end of the attention and support stick during divorce and may be feeling more deeply about the divorce than they realize.

Some teens also assume the role of the absent parent, which is rarely good for them (i.e., a sixteen-year-old boy becomes the "man of the house"). There are special considerations for teenagers whose parents are divorcing that may be overlooked. Choosing a strong legal advocate who has extensive experience in Illinois divorce laws and how divorce affects children can be one of the best steps you can take. An Oakbrook Terrace, IL child custody attorney from Farooqi & Husain Law Office can help ensure you and your child will get through the divorce in the best way possible.  

What Is the Toughest Age for a Child to Go Through Divorce?

Parents are generally told that if a child is younger than three, it is unlikely he or she will remember the divorce. While the actual divorce and the details of the divorce may not be remembered once the child is older, babies and toddlers will react to the situation at hand if a parent cries and seems sad or there are loud arguments. Any type of trauma experienced by these young children can cause:  

• Fussier than normal behavior

•  Clingy, insecure behavior

• Inconsolable crying when one parent is not with them

• Regressing from learned milestones

• Missing developmental milestones

Preschool children between the ages of three and five are in the question-asking stage and are just beginning to understand abstract concepts. While these young children may not fully understand divorce, they may feel responsible for their parents’ unhappiness.  Elementary children up to the pre-teen stage may have a rough time during a divorce. They are old enough to remember good feelings or good times when the family was united and may blame themselves for the divorce.

How Do Teenagers Cope with Divorce?

By the time children are teenagers, they are more likely to understand what caused the divorce. If his or her parents have been unhappy for some time, a teen may even feel a strong sense of relief. Guilt can quickly follow these feelings of relief, particularly if one of the parents is extremely sad about the divorce. While teenagers can certainly be self-centered, they are more likely to have empathy for their parents than younger children.

The world of a teenager usually revolves around school, friends, and extracurricular activities. This means teens are less likely to question whether their parents still love them and more likely to want to just get on with a new life. If the divorce results in a teen being forced to leave a school and friends he or she loves, life for all those around the teen is likely to be fairly miserable for a while. Even when teenagers tell their parents they are fine, any of the following behaviors indicate they are not coping as well as it seems.   

• Avoiding family members

• Losing interest in activities once enjoyed

•  Challenging rules more than normal

• Spending more time alone or online

• Experiencing social or academic problems at school

• Refusing to cooperate with family routines

Contact a DuPage County, IL Child Custody Attorney

At Farooqi & Husain Law Office, we understand that family disputes can be volatile and chaotic. Our goal is to help our clients work through family issues with the least stress and the best outcome possible. If you need to address issues related to child custody, contacting an Oakbrook Terrace, IL child custody attorney is the best step you can take. Attorney Naveed S. Husain couples his legal experience with a broad knowledge of Islamic family law. Contact Farooqi & Husain Law Office at 630-909-9114 to schedule an appointment.